It’s Thursday morning, 7:15. I am writing during my long commute to class. As usual I have been procrastinating my tasks and to be honest with you, I have not been feeling very energetic lately. I barely passed the subjects of block 2 and have been sitting around without inspiration and motivation for weeks and don’t feel driven enough to start projects or do more fun things for myself. Dull skies seem to be swallowing everything and I long for spring to return so I can finally have a warm sun shining on my face.
It always takes a while for me to realise wintertime makes me feel less ‘happy’. I don’t like to call it that though, because to me I still feel good enough to function great, just less vibrant and lively. Spring, summer and even a bit of autumn leave me feeling far more energetic and more like living everything to the fullest.
Getting up in the morning becomes the usual struggle with my inner self: BEEP BEEP BEEP ahh shit here we go again *snooze*. Hey don’t fall asleep, you’ve got to get to class!!. Nahh I don’t feel like iiiit aaaaaaAAAA.
I would rather stay curled up in a ball beneath a warm blanket for another couple of hours than get up already and get ready for a day full of class.
When I tell people what my favourite season is I do often say winter; the winter I really mean is freezing cold winter with lots of snow and ice, not the wet muddy too-cold-to-put-on-a-nice-jacket-but-too-warm-to-wear-a-wintercoat type weather. The warm chocolate with a stuffed biscuit when you get home from a whole afternoon of sleighing off hills with friends type winter.
In the area where I’m currently living the weather has gotten less and less cold during winters in my experience. It’s been more than six years since I have been able to ice skate on the tiny meadow in Renkums Beekdal that gets sprayed with water every fall. I learned to skate there and skated every year of my early childhood. To my disappointment, winter is getting less fun. That is why I would rather hibernate sometimes; away from the cold, safe and cozy until spring.
(Sunday)
To return to my gloomy message; I didn’t realise the weather was going to be nice this weekend. It seems like whatever deity is out there blessed our tiny country with some sunlight. I went outside to take a walk in the forest nearby and saw snowdrops, crocuses and even a few small daffodils in someone’s front yard. It’s been months since I have seen something greenish grow again and fills me up with the joy that my Lowlander ancestors have likely shared after a barren cold winter.
Now the moral of the story. I was being a tad bit dramatic. There are plenty of good and fun things about winter, like the early sun setting and the sky being easy to stargaze at from your window (when it’s not cloudy) or sitting together around the fireplace. Time makes most things better, even a gloomy mood about the weather.
